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What's so great about abstaining from sex?
What is Secondary Virginity?
How do I start over if I'm not a virgin anymore?
What if my boyfriend/girlfriend won't agree?
Yeah... but what about practical dating advice?
Do teens really stick by their abstinence pledges?

What's so great about abstaining from sex?
How about being able to enjoy some really great freedoms, that can even save your life? Like…

What is Secondary Virginity?
Secondary Virginity is a fresh start for you if you've already had sex. It means, no more sex until marriage. Secondary virginity is a chance to change risky habits and heal past wounds.

Even though you cannot physically become a virgin again, sex is much more than just a physical act. It’s an attitude, a frame of mind. It’s manifested in the way you look at yourself and others.

You know what it feels like to hurt, to have regrets, to have a broken heart, to be humiliated, or to lose respect for yourself. So, to protect your emotions, mind, and spirit, you can make a new, fresh start with a new freedom!

How do I start over if I'm not a virgin anymore?
Make a firm commitment to save yourself for marriage from now on, and believe you can do it. (Because you can!)

Get away from people, places, things and situations that weaken your self-control. Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is avoid people who tempt us.

Avoid intense hugging, passionate kissing and anything else that leads to lustful thoughts and behavior. Anything beyond a brief, simple kiss can quickly become dangerous.

Find non-physical ways to show your love and appreciation.

Remember that anyone can start over. Including you! When you focus on commitment and self-discipline, you can control your impulses.

(Used with permission of LoveMatters.com)

What if my boyfriend/girlfriend won't agree?
It will be difficult, but you can set new boundaries with your boy/girlfriend. Setting and holding new boundaries will take creativity and effort. Think of new things to do, places to go, people to hang out with. And remember, having sex is not about what others think of you, but what you think of yourself. After all, only you have to live inside your skin, so only you should dictate what you do with it. It is always OK to say "no", even to your current boy/girlfriend. You should never go against your inner guide.

Yeah but what about practical dating advice?
Respect yourself is always #1. Here’s how, when you’re getting ready for a date, or actually on the date:

Do teens really stick by their abstinence pledges?
Seems so!

A major study released in a recent issue of the American Journal of Sociology found that teens who took an abstinence pledge were 34% less likely to engage in premarital sex, and were far older when they finally did begin to have intercourse.
Among black females, for example, the median age of sexual debut for those who took the virginity pledge was 18.6, compared with 16.3 for those who did not take the pledge.
The median ages were 19.9 and 16.7, respectively, for non-black females. "Pledging" males showed similar delays in the onset of sex.

But, remember, pledges work best if you are proud of your commitment … and, also, it seems, if you tell at least two friends or relatives about it. You should also have one particular friend who can hold you accountable for your actions.