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I was a B student, not quite liking the school, or my mom. My parents got divorced when I was 3. I was fed up with the alcoholic mother and the father who could care less about me or my brother. My brother moved out when he was 17 and left me to care for my mother. The nights were long and abusive, so I decided to go out on my own at nights while my mom was passed out. I would go with my friends and party all night. The partying got me into trouble and I dropped out when I turned 16. Of course, my mom didn’t care. She signed the papers for me. The day I turned 17 I moved out of my house. Things were rough for a while, and then my sister in Virginia called me and told me she wanted to fly me out to get me away from everything, so I did. A week later I ended my relationship with my boyfriend. While in Virginia, I met a guy who was in the Navy. We decided to get married. After a few weeks of being married I found out I was pregnant. My heart sank to the ground and I thought there was no way I can have this baby. We thought about it and thought about it. Abortion came to mind a few times but I got on the internet and found sites with pictures of aborted babies. That changed my mind real quick. I thought to myself, "How could anyone murder their baby?" And that’s what it was, murder.

Well, the months dragged on and I was enjoying feeling the little flutters of his tiny little feet and hands. I was overwhelmed by the ultrasound pictures. My husband, on the other hand, was still pretty quiet about the whole thing until the day the baby was born. My angel was born 6 weeks early. He had hydrops, hydrocephalus, and IUGR (intro-uterine growth retardation) which means he stopped growing at 30 weeks for some odd reason, and had a stroke. He wasn’t breathing when he was born and was on a breathing machine for 3 weeks. The doctors did spinal taps, ultrasounds, MRI's, and CAT Scans, and for the life of them could not figure out what went wrong.

Today he is a healthy 4-month-old and fat as he can be. To this day I tell myself God was punishing me for wanting an abortion, to kill one of his little babies. But I know in my heart that God wouldn’t make one of his children sick like that. It was just a fluke. I love my son to death and to even think about what I wanted to do kills me. He was a sick baby, and now, to look at his precious face, makes me a very proud mother. I’m only 18 and it is rough sometimes, but in the end, it’s all worth it. Look at it this way, abortion IS murder. Abortion is killing babies that have little heartbeats, fingers, and toes. He's a living thing. Not just a blob of tissue, like some doctors put it. I thank God I have my son with me today. Sure, it’s tough. But like the old saying goes, "That which doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger." And I totally believe that!


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