See yourself in the reflections of other teens. Check out these inpirational stories!

:: >>

My name is Christine and when I was sixteen I had an abortion and it destroyed my life. I remember feeling so scared and alone, wishing someone would come along and help me, but no one did. The father wasn’t much help. He was young too, but when I asked him if I should have one he went along with it. I didn’t want to have one. I wanted my baby, but everyone around me was saying how an abortion would fix everything and that I was too young.

I went to Planned Parenthood and was seen by a doctor. I remember feeling like I was in some sort of assembly line. The doctor told me I was pregnant and asked if I wanted an abortion. There was no offer of other options, no kindness. There was just a cold look and statement of how an abortion would be less painful than childbirth. I said I wanted one and they set up an appointment for two weeks later. My parents found out I was pregnant a few days before the appointment. They didn’t have a melt down like I had imagined, but they were very scared for me. They wanted me to have an abortion too, and my mom took me to Planned Parenthood and stayed with me during the abortion. She didn't want to, but I was too scared to go alone. When we went in I was struck by how scared all the other girls looked. Most were with their girl friends or an odd boyfriend here and there. It was so quiet and no one talked. My name was called and I felt like I was sinking into a well of cold water. I never have felt so terrified in my life. The counselor explained what was going to happen and gave me some drugs to help soften my cervix so that they could put the tube up with less trouble. When I finally got into the room, they had me undress and get up on the table where they did an ultrasound to see where the baby was for removal.

I remember wanting to see my baby but the nurse wouldn’t let me. My mom was holding my hand. It turns out I was farther along than they had thought (over three months) but they decided to do it anyway, although it would be more painful. They didn't want to chance that I wouldn't come back. I remember the pain being so intense that I couldn’t breathe, and having to throw up half way through the abortion. I felt so violated having them suck my baby out. I could hear this screaming in my head that wouldn't stop. When it was finally over I laid back exhausted. They tell you that afterwards you’ll feel relieved, or happy, but all I felt was a horrible emptiness inside me. I knew that that little life inside me was gone. The experience traumatized me so badly that I don’t remember much of the year after the abortion. That year is like a haze of misery, I have no clear memories of conversations or events that happened then. I do remember wanting to kill myself on several occasions and crying at night. My grades fell and I would leave school sobbing.

I see now that I was only surviving in the eight years that followed. I wasn’t really living at all. I had constant nightmares, depression; I drew away from all my friends, and got into an abusive relationship. I hated myself for what I had done, the pain of my memories seemed to bite at me from all sides and I could never escape. On the outside I pretended everything was fine, but on the inside I was in hell. There’s a bible verse I read that struck me as exactly what it was like for me all those years and I would like to share it with you.

It’s Matthew 2:18

A voice is heard in Ramah,
Weeping, lamentation, and great mourning.
Rachel weeping for her children,
And refusing to be comforted,
Because they are no more.

My soul was crying out for that child, crying and never finding comfort or forgiveness no matter what I tried. The pain never lessened for me. Every day I thought about that baby and I knew something had to change soon. Then one day my mom gave me a book to read that was the beginning of a great revelation for me. It was a Christian fiction and through it God touched my heart. My mind began to open and I decided to go to a bible study class called PACE which stands for Post abortion counseling and education. It was the hardest thing to confront all those memories. But through God’s word I have finally begun to heal and find peace. It was like being taken from a cold room out into the warm sunlight, the change in my life was that abrupt. I’ll always have these memories and will still struggle with them at times but I don’t hate myself anymore and I know my baby is in heaven and happy.

I would like to say to any women out there who are struggling with their abortions that there is hope, you’re not alone in how you feel and you can find forgiveness for yourself. You can find peace. And to anyone in a crisis pregnancy or to anyone who knows someone in a crisis pregnancy there is so much I would like to say to you, but I’ll just say this. I know you’re scared. I know you feel trapped and alone. I remember. But there is help out there for you. I would not wish these memories on anyone. If you’re pregnant or think you might be, don’t go to Planned Parenthood for goodness sake. They’ll strong-arm you into an abortion like they did to me. Go to the pregnancy center where at least they can tell you about your options and set you up with some support on how to deal with things. I would like to thank all of you for listening to my testimony and hope that it will help to open your eyes to what abortion is really like.