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At 17 years old and a senior in high school, I found myself in an unplanned pregnancy. I immediately went to my boyfriend and we decided the best thing to do was for me to have an abortion. So my friend drove me to the clinic to have an abortion. My boyfriend that loved me sooo much could not even take the day off of work or pay for the abortion. Instead, I was left to take care of the dirty deed all by myself. Funny though he was sure right there during the sex part, but when things weren't fun anymore he ran. Anyway I went to the clinic and had the abortion or should I say I went to the cattle drive. At the abortion clinic you are just a dollar sign being ushered from one room to another scary room, one by one, girl by girl, life by life. I remember laying on that cold table thinking what am I doing and just wanting to get up and leave, but the nurse said it was too late; she had already dilated my cervix.

I left that clinic forever changed. I stayed in my bed for days crying and thinking what have I done? How could I have done such a horrible thing? I am so evil. When I finally left my room I turned to drugs and alcohol to ease the guilt, shame, pain, grief and a number of other emotions I was feeling. When I finally wanted to have children, I had three pregnancies that ended in miscarriage due to my abortion. I was in a downhill spiral and did not know how to recover from it until the day I met Jesus Christ and He became my Lord and Saviour. I confessed my sin of abortion and He was faithful to forgive me. I was finally free from this horrible sin and I felt as if a dark cloud of sin had finally been lifted off of my shoulders.

I immediately knew that I had to share Jesus and His forgiving power with other girls that had experienced abortion and I wanted to stop other girls from making the mistake of taking the life of their child by having an abortion. So God has led me to work at a Crisis Pregnancy Center. At the center we help girls choose life rather than abortion, and for those that have already made the mistake of abortion we help them to receive God's forgiveness and His healing power. If you are pregnant and considering abortion, let me just say to you that if you have an abortion you will regret it, but if you decide to keep your child I promise you will never look into your precious child's face and say I regret having you. I know because God has finally blessed me with two beautiful boys and I am holding my 5 month old baby in my arms right now as I type this letter and when I look at his little face I feel overwhelming love, joy and thankfulness. Children are a precious gift from God and He has given women a natural instinct to nurture their children, not kill them!!!! Whatever your situation is today, turn to God. He loves you and He is ALL you need!


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