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My name is Julie and I am 39 years old. I had a strict family upbringing and I remained a virgin until almost 21. I became pregnant 4 months after I became sexually active. After I had a pregnancy test, the clinic immediately could see that the results were upsetting to me and quickly offered me to have an abortion in 1 week. I was so relieved to have a way out that I didn't give any thought to what I was really doing, and I agreed to it. I was scared that my boyfriend would be mad at me and even worse, my parents. I couldn't face telling them. I told my boyfriend about the pregnancy and before he could respond, I told him not to worry because I was going to have an abortion. He did not argue with my decision.

I tried not to think about it for the next week and then did go through with the abortion. Afterwards, and every day to this day, I have really thought about what I did and how I took an innocent life of a child who would never have the chance to live, love, laugh or cry as I had. I have thought about it constantly for the past 18 years and I have never stopped feeling ashamed of what I have done. I found out later that my boyfriend would have supported my decision to have our baby, if I had just given him a chance and not assumed his answer.

Today, I am married to him and have had five children with him. When I see my children laughing & playing and falling in love, even though just crushes, it makes me deeply sad for what I have done. I cry all of the time because of it and I would literally do anything in the world to take it all back.