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I was just starting to get my life on track after going through some behavior problems and being sent away. My family was beginning to trust me again, and was proud of me for the first time in a long time. Then one day I was at school when a girl I knew thought she might be pregnant, so I offered to go with her to the clinic at lunch. I myself decided to take a pregnancy test because I was late, but did not think much of it because I have irregular cycles. Then the results came back, the girl's was negative; mine was positive. I was pregnant at 16. My stomach dropped and I broke into tears. I thought it was a mix up. All I knew was that there was no way I was ready to be a mom. The lady asked me what I wanted to do, and I told her I could not keep the baby. She gave me a list of abortion clinics, (though I had never believed in abortion but the thought was the first to cross my mind). I felt my life was over.

Meanwhile the father was 100 miles away, and when we broke up I threw away his number. It happened only once and I guess that is all it takes. I was told when I was younger that I would have a hard time getting pregnant, so in a sense I thought I did not need protection. Wrong. I went home that day and was originally not going to tell my mother and just go have the abortion. But I could not hold it in. I told her and she did not believe me at first, but then accepted it and said things were going to be all right. My mother too had me young. She was disappointed, but not mad. A better reaction than what I expected. Things changed though when her new husband found out. He said that I had to leave or he would leave my mother. I was still debating an abortion but this made it final. How could I live on the streets with a baby? I had to have an abortion.

My mother called and made an appointment at planned parenthood. I went in and was fighting in my heart with the fact I was going to kill my baby. I had prayed the night before on what to do. I went in only to find out that I was 12 weeks, too far along for a normal procedure. I was told I would have to come back the next day for a different procedure. But that was an answer to prayer for me. I did not go back. I couldn't. Going once was enough trauma. There was only one option left. I had to move out on my own. I said to myself, though, that I would do whatever it took to make a good life for me and my child; a better life than I had had.

My mother had called my father and told him (He lives in New York and I was living in California). I thought he would never talk to me again if he knew, but I was shocked to find out he offered to take me in. I was happy and very grateful because I don't know how I would have made it on my own. I ended up having to drive up to the baby's father's house and tell him, but I had to tell his mother instead, because he was not there. (It took everything out of me.) What would a mother think when she hears that some girl who shows up on her doorstep is 5 months pregnant by her son? I told her and left a letter for him with my number.

I took off to New York with most of my family disowning me and no baby's father. I was lucky to finish high school. That was a challenge, though, being the only pregnant girl in the entire school. But I made it and graduated with a beautiful daughter. She is now 10 months old and I am 18 and just started college, which I thought I could never do. I take care of my daughter all day, work and go to school at nights. No doubt it has been hard. I talk to my baby's father once in a while, but he sends no help. I am fortunate, though, to have a supportive father. Having a baby has given my life a new meaning and I have had to grow up faster than I would have liked to. I don't get to go out and do things other girls my age get to do, but I accept it. I have found other girls who have babies and we do things together. I love my daughter more than life itself and am glad I made the decision to not have an abortion. My family has come around since they have seen the effort I have made and how wonderful my daughter is.